Pain Relief...

Prescription pain medication has been staring at me all week. Sitting on the kitchen counter, packaged nicely, free samples provided by my Orthopedic surgeon. I should take them. I need them, but something quite significant has to happen first, weaning my precious baby.

The lump in my throat and pain in my chest swells from writing the words. He will be six months this week and that is a milestone I should feel proud to have reached. So few mothers are able to nurse that long and it has been a sacrifice that I have relished even in the most difficult moments.

I should be able to wait, right? Except I have a two year old who melts at the thought of a day spent indoors, a 6 month old whose needs are immediate and husband working 60 hours a week who just can't help me all the time.

So the bottle on the counter calls...I almost open it but think, I'll wait so I can nurse the baby tonight. Once he takes the bottle he is no longer a brand new baby. He is our last baby, so I'm just not ready to give that up.

Tomorrow I get an injection of cortisone I think it is, or lidocane, maybe they're the same thing I really don't know, but I'm told it might work as long as a month or two. I'm hoping it will buy me a little more time.

( bought me a year:)


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