It's almost hard for me to remember now, how many nights over the last two years I have cried myself to sleep. What chronic pain does to the mind and the heart of a person. Today it's sunny and I can go anywhere, do anything I want to do. Going to wait a couple of months to run, but I'm happy about that one!
The kids are turning 2 and 4 this week. My hip pain presented with the first pregnancy, but became absolutely unbearable with the second. My husband would roll me over in bed, help me dress myself. There were days I literally crawled on the floor, or drug myself with my arms because I was unable to walk. Dark days.
Caring for a newborn baby and a highly active two year old while in disabling pain, not fun. So began a year of for doctors, three surgeons, PT, rationing anti-inflammatories and trying every alternative remedy I could dig up. I learned a lot about myself and more than I'd ever like to know about pain. I also learned about the power of faith, prayer, love and friends who show up at your doorstep with a hot meal when you can't care for your own family.
I put surgery off for a year. I still stand by my decision and think everyone who is not a professional athelete should give this time. The surgery doesn't have a very high success rate, it is a long hard recovery and if you have a family to care for, well you're not going to be able to. 6 to 8 weeks on crutches for a labral tear. But when I felt like there was no option left I made the decision and had the surgery 10 days later. Oh, and did I mention a few insurance companies still consider it to be experimental, so the unlucky (me) pay out of pocket.
I was shocked to hear I had developed stage 3 osteoarthritis. No wonder I hurt all the time! You can dig through the old posts to hear about the surgery and recovery process, but the short version is I'm almost 100% recovered. Actually I think my hip is better than it's ever been in my life.
It took about 3 months of PT to be strong enough to slowly return to cardio activities. By the 4th month I was back in spin class, dancing, and doing at least 30 min on eliptical machine. The first few weeks back I was weak and would have a lot of pain for about 48 hours afterwards, but my therapist said it was to be expected and we monitored the length of pain. Like she said, after about 4 or 5 times my hip got used to the activity and the pain was gone.
I used to cry in spin class, pilates or yoga because of the fear I would lose this part of my life forever. Now I cry in spin class, pilates and yoga when I feel the inner strength, and think of how grateful I am to be there now. It's given me such a new perspective and motivation. I am in a very good place, but it was absolute hell getting here. And still my advice regarding the surgery decision is to weigh your risk vs benefit. Don't simply think about the surgery, but what you will do afterwards. Be sure your surgeon has a game plan for your recovery in place and that you know what it is!! This procedure doesn't end when you wake up from the sedation.
Good luck to all of you. And for those who have been so kind and supportive it really has meant a lot to me!! I am so thankful we can share our stories together, the good and the bad.
love,
Vanessa:)
How Akward Is This
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